It’s that gnawing feeling in your gut when Suzy gets the promotion you were striving for. When your friend gets a raise and you’re stuck at the same salary. When you just feel less-than. Like, way less-than.
Jealousy is the direct result of comparison. When you compare your life to the lives of others, the things they have and they things you lack become glaringly obvious. And if left unchecked, jealousy can drive a wedge in your relationships and take a major toll on your mental health.
Next time you start feeling down on yourself and envious of others, try these 5 tips to beat the green-eyed jealousy monster:
Handling Jealousy: 5 Ways to Build Back Your Confidence
1. Be aware of the trigger
What’s actually making you feel jealous? Is it a specific person or thing? Once you narrow down the source of your jealousy, you can start to really understand where it comes from.
Are you jealous because of an insecurity within yourself? Resentment for someone else? General bitterness in your mindset? Get real with yourself — not guilt-trip yourself, but be honest about your thoughts. Then work to fix the weak spots in your mindset. When your trigger rolls around again, you’ll be prepared to block out the thoughts and focus on more positive things.
2. Talk it out
When you’re dealing with emotions that are stressful and negative, it’s important to talk them out with someone you trust. This will help you process those emotions in a healthy way and get a new perspective on the situation. Find a friend you can vent to and get their thoughts on how you might handle your emotions.
If you think your feelings may be too intense, talk to a professional. Therapy can be incredibly helpful when intrusive thoughts take over your mind and keep you from being your most productive self. Do what you need to do to get some clarity on your mindset and go after the life you want!
3. Get your facts straight
Jealousy can shroud your view of reality, causing you to believe irrational or untrue things about yourself or the people around you. Maybe your coworker got a raise but you didn’t — so you start to believe you’re unworthy or that your boss has it out for you. Before you dive too deep into the rabbit hole of self-doubt and despair, get your facts straight. What is objectively, undoubtedly true about the situation?
Remind yourself of the cold, hard facts — it is highly unlikely that someone is specifically out to get you. Reassess your mindset, try to figure out where those thoughts are coming from, and replace those worries with truth.
4. Build your confidence
Remain open to opportunities for you to strengthen your confidence. Jealousy can bring you down when you’re feeling a little insecure about yourself and your abilities, so remind yourself how capable you really are. Take the chances in your career, your relationships, and your life that will allow you to prove yourself and your worth.
Confidence doesn’t appear over night — it’s something you must consistently work at and grow within yourself. Even if you fall, dust yourself off and get back on your feet. True confidence is created in the moments where pick ourselves back up and keep moving forward.
5. Practice gratitude
Remind yourself about the things you’re grateful for every single day and jealousy will have nothing on you. How could you be jealous when you’re in love with your life?
Practice making a note of the things you’re grateful for as they happen. I keep a Happiness Journal where I can write down the things that I’m thankful for and the things that make me smile. Then when I’m feeling down or beginning to doubt myself, I can return to that list and motivate myself to shift my mindset.
QOTD: How do you handle jealousy?